


Never Have I Ever

by sassyfangs13



Category: Assassin's Creed, Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Crossover, F/F, F/M, M/M, T+ for conversational subjects
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-17 23:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2327102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassyfangs13/pseuds/sassyfangs13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Supernatural/AC crossover where the assassins are brothers in Desmond's time and have commingled with the hunters. (It's a big AU, don't ask lol)</p><p>They end up playing strip!Never Have I Ever, hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Have I Ever

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to make it easy to follow with so many chatacters but wow was it hard to write....

Supersassins AU where the main assassins are brothers in Desmond's time period, never have I ever, Desmond is bad at this game

"So these guys were at a table right next to the bar and they were playing this game--apparently they usually did a strip version but were in public so shots were the better option." Desmond had taken his opportunity to tell a story, Ezio had begun this entire thing--telling a story about one of his past jobs--and everyone else eventually felt the need to share a tale of their own as well. Desmond liked to talk with his entire body when he told stories, especially his hands, he might not have been the story teller that Ezio was but he was just as entertaining. "I kid you not, these three, 'hundred-and-twenty pound guys ordered and drank nearly 5 dozen shots of top shelf. They were so wasted by the time the bar closed..." He trailed off, remembering the days when he wasn't an assassin, just a normal guy who mixed weak drinks for the weak constitutioned sorority girls.

"What game were they playing? It sounds like fun." Leo purred, twisting another braid into Ezio's loose hair.

"'Never Have I Ever'? You go around in a circle and name things that you've never done. The people who have done them take a shot...or take off some clothes." He shrugged, leaning back on the couch, throwing an arm over Sam's broad shoulders. "Winner is the most clothed after ten rounds. If it takes that long."

"We should play." Ezio grinned, his accent standing out from the others'. "I am certain I will lose."

"I don't know," Malik commented from behind his book, "not all of the questions are going to be about whoring."

"Oh, my pride." Ezio clutched his chest and fainted into Leo's lap."You messed up my pattern." Leo pouted and and was pulled down to be given a kiss as an apology.

"I'm going to find the others, we need more people if this is going to happen." Sam stood and pulled Desmond off the couch with him. "Make some drinks?" 

\-----

Ten minutes later there was a collection of bottles on the table and drinks had been distributed around the circle that had been formed on the living room floor.  The rules had been explained, technicalities clarified and they were ready to begin. 

"I want to start." Ezio scoot a couple of inches towards the center of the circle. "Never have I ever had sex in a position that I could not name." He then added quickly, "'Normal' is not a position." Dean, Altair, Lucy and Sam removed either their shoes or an over shirt.

"Never have I ever started and finished sex in a bed." Leo tried to hide a smile when Ezio winked at him.

"Never have I ever been an Assassin." Dean took another drink from his glass and waited as the majority of the circle removed something. "What's it going to be, Big Ben?"

"Fine, fine." Shaun removed his glasses and carefully set them on the floor beside him.

"I thought you couldn't see anything without those." Rebecca accused, leaning forward so that she could see around Jo.

"Yes, Rebecca, that is quite the point I was trying to make. I'd rather not see any part of you past where you are now."

"Ouch." Dean said, though it was covered by another quip from Rebecca.

"But now you won't be able to see me either." Jo teased, leaning back on her hands, still fully clothed. Shaun waited a moment before speaking, "I've discovered a small flaw in my decision." Jo laughed and kissed his cheek, lingering a second too long to whisper something that made him smile.

"Never have I ever worked at a bar."

"Portugal." Altair corrected.

"Right," Malik paused, trying to think of another. "Never have I ever broken one of my weapons."

"Seriously?" Lucy asked, removing her shirt.

"I take good care of my property, thank you." Everyone was going to pretend they didn't see Altair blush.

"Never have I ever had an older brother." 

"Shaun." Lucy said in a sing-song tone, "You have to pick something."

"I refuse to accept that he was first."

"He's still older than you."

"I was conceived first." He said spitefully, removing his sweater."Never have /I/ ever worked at a bar."

"Okay, seriously?" Desmond complained, unbuttoning his pants. "Can I sit under a blanket or something?"

"What's the point of strip games if you cover up with a blanket?" Lucy mocked, slipping out of her bra, prefering that over her jeans.

"And what happens if I loose these the next round?"

"Start taking shots." Sam smiled, it would have been sweet if Desmond couldn't see the smug look in his eyes. Naked and drunk, of course, because this house didn't see enough of that. "Whatever. Jo?"

"I'll be nice." She smiled and looked at Ezio. "Never have I ever been in an orgy."

"What counts as an orgy?"

"Um...sex with three or more people not including yourself?" Jo looked to the others for agreement.

"So a brothel...?" He trailed off.

"Were they all actually participating or just in the room?" Sam asked, "Because they have to be participating."

"Hmm...I--" Ezio paused and thought for another few seconds, "I do not believe I have."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Desmond looked less than pleased.

"What?" Ezio looked at his younger brother, reading his face. "Oh...I see." Ezio smiled wide, "Good for you, was it as much fun as it sounds?" Sam finally caught on and gave a shocked yet incredibly amused laugh. "Des, it's the rules." He shrugged, smiling and waiting for Desmond to proceed.

"Fuck the rules." He stood up and slid out of his boxers.

"I need to hear this story." Leo seemed to be the only one unfazed by the full frontal nudity that had joined their party.

"It...no, you guys don't deserve to know. You've been targeting me."

"No we haven't, a lot of us are down to our underwear or shirtless, you just happened to get one of the most bizarre questions in the game." Lucy countered, crossing her arms over bare breasts.

"You still have your pants on!" Desmond argued, trying to find a position to sit in that didn't completely expose him. Lucy ignored him and continued the game. "Never have I ever been over six foot tall."

"I hate you." Sam passed Desmond a shot of whatever bottle he happened to grab, tequila by the way it smelled. He upended the glass, holding eye contact with Lucy who continued smirking while everyone across the circle from her removed clothing. Yeah, it was tequila.

"Never have I ever drawn on a 'nude model.'" Rebecca laughed, "Sorry Leo, you have to take off something eventually."

"Painting counts, yes?" He asked, shrugging out of his over shirt.

Sam hummed as he thought, trying not to derail himself by looking at the naked man to his left. "Never have I ever chased someone off a rooftop."

"You're such an asshole. Now you are targeting me. Give me another shot, I fucking need it."

"No I'm not, look how many other--"

"HA!" Ezio exclaimed, dropping his jeans and revealing that he didn't feel the need for underwear this morning. "Within ten rounds. I am good." He took his position back on the floor, not bothering to attempt decency.

"Altair?" Lucy asked skeptically, the man down to his briefs.

"I have chased them across but they never make it off." He said with a quiet smugness.

"Well, that was the tenth question. Can I put my pants back on now?" Desmond set his now empty shotglass on the table behind him.

"No way! There's some people here who still have their shirts on." Rebecca complained, "Let's keep going."

"Fine, it's my turn." Desmond leaned forward a little, "Never have I ever had hair past my chin."

"Oh." Sam flushed, realizing it was his turn to be rid of his boxers. Lucy grimmaced but shrugged, "I'll go if you go."

"See, look how much better it is already." Rebecca smiled as the lacy panties fell to the floor.

"Let's see if we can get some of the more...mundane participant's clothes off." Leo looked at Shaun and Jo, preparing a cleverly frased question. "Never have I ever kissed someone with a light hair color."

"What's light?" Someone asked.

"Sam's shade or lighter."

"I'm going to get so waisted...please give me something other than tequila." Desmond rubbed his eyes. Dean atempted to use Lucy's "I'll go if" line on Malik and just made the fact that both of them were now naked that much more awkward. Not to mention Altair's glare, that was more terrifying than seeing his brother's dick.

"I...think I'm done. I'm out of my clothes, that's all you wanted right?" Dean gathered his things and tried his best to discretely put his pants back on.

"I'm not even out of my bra." Jo smirked, probably at whatever Shaun murmured rather than the situation.

"Yeah, I'm okay with that." Dean grabbed a bottle of whatever alcohol was closest and padded out of the room.

"Aww, but I want to look at all of your wonderful bodies. We aren't really done are we?" Ezio winked at Lucy.

"I'd be up for naked drinking again." Leo chimed in, busying his hands by braiding Ezio's hair.

"What about topless drinking? There's a couple too many penises in the room for my taste." Rebecca suggested, chest bared since she removed her tank top.

"Desmond seems to be the only one that has a problem having his pants off. What do you think?" Lucy's question would have to go unanswered as he was currently occupying his mouth with Sam's.

"Perhapse we should all get rooms instead?" Ezio laughed, taking a moment to apreciate Sam's tanned shoulders.

"I second that!" Shaun added, probably too quickly. Malik and Altair both shrugged.

"Fine then. No topless drinking." Rebecca pouted.  
"I'm sure something could be arranged. " Lucy stood and ran a finger up her cheek, picking out a nice bottle of  wine on her way out the door. Rebecca quickly followed, then Altair and Malik, and lastly Ezio and Leo, leaving Sam and Desmond alone in the living room with piles of forgotten clothes and half filled glasses of alcohol. Desmond suddenly didn't mind being naked quite as much. After all, fun things happen when you're naked.


End file.
